


Assistance

by AmbsNicole32



Series: Assistance [1]
Category: EXO (Band), Z.Tao (Musician)
Genre: Best Friends, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Feelings Realization, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Love Confessions, Sad and Happy, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:28:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23333137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbsNicole32/pseuds/AmbsNicole32
Summary: An idol star realizes his personal assistant/best friend means more to him than he realized. She opens his eyes to new things he didn't realize were right in front of him, and helps him see what he hadn't before. But will it last? Will his playboy ways end with his love of her smile?
Relationships: Huang Zi Tao | Z.Tao/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Assistance [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677991





	Assistance

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another part of my mind! This work is completely fictional and is not intended to offend or trigger anyone. Please enjoy as that is my only intentions!

I rolled over and saw the mess of blonde hair on the pillow next to me.  
"Ah shit. Not again."  
I picked up my phone to text Alicia, but I noticed the unread text message on my screen.   
02:42 am: Your clothes are folded in the chair. I put my room card in the pocket of your jeans and your suitcase is already in my room. Come take a shower and I'll take it from there.  
She always knew what to do when I got myself into these situations. I jumped up and got dressed in a hurry. I glanced around to make sure I didn't leave anything, then a sticky note by the door caught my eye.  
Tao, You didn't leave anything. I already put it in my room by your suitcase.   
One thing she's always been is thorough. I hurried down the hall, reaching into my pocket I found a card key with another sticky note on it.  
407  
I headed to the elevator and punched the button for the fourth floor. I need some more sleep but that can always happen on the plane. As the elevator door opened onto the floor, I headed down the hall to Alicia's room. As I went in, I noticed the bed was still perfectly made with my suitcase stood up next to it and charger and wallet on the bedside table. Alicia was curled up in a chair next to the window. I don't know how she does it, but she makes sleeping in those uncomfortable things look easy. I shook my head and headed for the bathroom where I found my hygiene bag on the sink with yet another note stuck to the mirror.  
Take a shower and get some sleep. I'll take care of everything once you're finished.   
I smiled and got ready to shower. It dawned on me that I don't really ever thank her for everything she does for me. She's been a best friend to me for years when all I hired her to do was be my assistant. She gives up a lot for me and I'm kind of an ungrateful brat to her, yet, she doesn't complain and continues every day.  
I got out of the shower and went into the room. Alicia wasn't in the chair anymore. Damn she's fast, I thought to myself. She appeared out of the corner of the room, dressed, hair in place, shoes on, and looking as if she hadn't been sleeping ten minutes ago.  
T: Holy shit. Weren't you just sleeping?  
A: Do I ever sleep really?  
T: I don't know, do you?  
A: No. Room key please.  
T: Don't you already have the other one?  
A: Yes but you don't need one because I'm kicking out the latest tryst and checking you out of the room. Also, there is a bottle of antibiotics next to the bed. I suggest you start them now.   
T: Why?  
A: Because that one looked dirty. And your dirty clothes go in the bag next to your suitcase. I need to disinfect them tomorrow. Get some rest.  
She gathered up everything she needed and headed out of the room. I shook my head and smiled. I really don't have any idea what I would do without her. I threw everything that was dirty into the plastic bag that she had on the floor and pulled clean sweats out of my suitcase. Another note was stuck to the top of the inside.  
Take the medicine! I don't need you catching something weird and gross. I don't want to find crabs in your laundry.  
This one made me laugh. She really was thorough. I took the pills she left for me and flopped back onto the bed. I curled up under the blanket and closed my eyes. The faint scent of body mist was in the air and like usual, it was comfortable. I really don't know what I would do without her.  
A few hours later, I woke up to the sound of someone moving around the room. I opened my eyes and saw Alicia gathering all of our things and getting ready for us to leave. I saw a clean set of clothes folded on the chair and I knew it was mine.   
A: Morning sleepy head. Get dressed. We leave in an hour.  
T: Is that the best good morning you can give me?  
A: Yep. Now put your clothes on. And brush your teeth. Your breath smells like death.  
I laughed and climbed out of bed and took my clothes with me to the bathroom. My hygiene bag was still sitting on the counter with my toothbrush sitting next to it. I hurried and dressed and brushed. I walked back out into the room where Alicia was almost done getting everything together.   
A: Awesome. You ready?  
T: Yea. Did you take care of the situation?  
A: All done. Now let's get out of here.  
She packed up the rest of our things and headed out the door pulling our suitcases behind her. I started walking in front of her like normal, but stopped for a second to look back at her. She had her backpack on with all of our carry on stuff and she was pulling both of our suitcases behind her. Surprisingly though, she didn't look to be struggling or upset. She stopped when she saw me watching her.  
A: What?  
T: You always carry everything and don't let me help.   
A: If you carried your own stuff, then what the hell would you be paying me for? Let's go.  
She started off again, heading towards the elevators. Walking behind her, I noticed something I hadn't noticed before. She had a tattoo on her neck. It was just a word, "Ugly". What the hell is that there for? I had known her for almost ten years and I had never seen that before.  
We got on the elevator and I contemplated asking her about it. I didn't know how she would react to me asking though.  
A: Dude, what? You keep staring at me today like you've never seen me before. What is going on in your head?  
T: You have a tattoo.   
A: I've had that for years.  
T: But I've never seen it before.  
A: You probably have you just don't remember. You've got too many girls in your memory to even know which one is which.  
She turned to face the front of the elevator as we rode to the lobby. Once there, She led us to the desk and started the check out process. I stood there thinking of how much I might not know about her. This person has been with me for years and I barely know anything about her.   
A: Let's go superstar.  
She led us out and to the cars outside. Again, she wouldn't let me help with anything. She went to the back of the car and loaded everything inside herself while I sat and watched her.   
I need to rectify this situation. Soon.

It's been two weeks since the last situation that Alicia had to take care of for me. Thankfully, it had happened in England while we were there for promotions. When I'm home, she doesn't have to take care of those situations as often. But she still runs around and does a lot more than I ever noticed before.   
Since the realization of the tattoo, I discovered that she had at least five more that I had never seen before. And they weren't new either. I had made it a personal mission to find out everything I could about her. And boy did I come to some realizations.  
She likes whiskey and soda, she wears headphones to calm her anxiety, and she likes to read jane austen books. She has a degree in psychology, she hates shoes, she hates shopping for clothes, and she carries a lip balm in her pocket everywhere she goes. These were the little things that I should have known about a long time ago. She started as my assistant, but she had become my friend. She got rid of all of my one night stands, she cleans everything from my house to my clothes, and she knows everything about me. Even the embarrassing stuff. Yet it took me almost ten years to know she even had a tattoo. I felt really bad because of it.  
It was hard to wake up before she did. I wanted to have all of my stuff packed before she got up, but when I woke up, she was already almost finished.   
A: What are you doing up so early?  
T: Trying to pack my stuff before you do.  
A: Why? You have a secret you need to keep from me that you have to hide in your suitcase? And since when do you pack your own suitcase? If I let you do it, it would look like a three year old packed it.  
T: Yea well, still. You should let me do things sometimes.  
A: Why? Isn't that what you have me around for?  
She was laughing a little when she talked. Her smile was kind of contagious. I tried really hard to be stern but she knew me too well. I sat down and watched her while she worked. She knew how to do everything. And since I discovered so much about her, I was seeing her a little differently lately.  
T: Do you ever get mad at me?  
A: That's an odd question.   
T: Just something I'm curious about. Do I ever piss you off or frustrate you in any way?  
A: Of course you do. But that's your job.   
T: Why don't you ever say anything?  
A: Because you're my boss. Listen, I know we've become friends as well, but you're still the guy who signs my paychecks and needs me to take care of him. There is a time and place for friends and co-workers. Now get dressed, we need to get going. We have a flight this afternoon and it's a long one.  
I was stunned at what she said. She really just overlooks everything about me that makes her angry. I got up to get dressed but first, I hugged her. She was so surprised that she just stood there.   
A: Umm, you're scaring me.  
T: Why?  
A: Because you've never hugged me before.   
T: Well things are going to be different now. I promise.  
I left her there looking terrified. It made me worry a little bit that she reacted to a hug with fear. There was a story I needed to hear too. There was more about her that I still didn't know.  
Six hours later, we were sitting on an airplane in business class waiting to take off. Alicia had her computer sitting in front of her waiting to be able to turn it on once we were in the air. I was pretending to stare at my phone, watching her while we sat there. She was looking at her phone and writing something down on a notebook that was beside her. I had never seen her wear glasses before. I didn't even know she wore contacts or anything. She liked to wear baggy clothes a lot. And it seemed like they had gotten bigger over the last few weeks too. I had never seen her wear anything else.   
T: Hey.  
A: Hmm?  
T: Why are you working so hard? We're sitting on an airplane. Relax. Whatever you're doing can wait fifteen hours.   
A: That's what you think.   
T: What is so important that it can't wait until we get to L.A.?  
A: I like to go over all of your contracts before we get to where we're going so you can just sign and save time. After I go through everything I need to, I email them to your lawyer and they tell me whether or not you're good to go. I also confer with the companies that draw up the contracts in order to make sure that we are good to go when we hit the ground.   
T: Seriously?  
A: Yep seriously.  
She finally set her phone down and looked at me.   
A: That is the thing that is so important that it can't wait until we get to L.A. But you on the other hand, you should relax until we get there.   
T: No,you need to relax. Seriously, I'm worried about you.  
A: You don't need to be. I'm fine.  
I sat back and watched her go back to her work. I was seeing her in a different light. She worked too hard, she barely slept, and her main focus was always me. I wondered when and if she ever worried about herself. I was worried about her.   
The flight was dragging. I tried to sleep but, it wasn't working. I sat up and looked over at Alicia's seat. She was still working away, on her computer this time. She had reclined her seat and was stretched out with her laptop in her lap. I stood up and squeezed in beside her and shut her computer. She wasn't surprised, but she didn't seem happy either. I was staring up at her and she looked down at me with a straight look on her face. My smirk turned into a smile and she broke a little bit.  
A: Seriously Tao?  
T: Seriously.  
I took her computer and stuck it in her bag that was sitting on the floor beside her seat. Then I pulled her down and wrapped myself around her while she was laughing and fighting me the whole time.   
A: Tao, I have work to do! I've barely gotten anything done!  
T: Nope. Lay here with me. You need to sleep.  
A: Tao!  
T: Nope. I'm going to hold you until you go to sleep.  
She stopped fighting but was still laughing. She gave up and curled up into my hug.  
A: Alright. But you have to sing to me. My headphones are in my bag and you have me trapped.   
I laughed and started humming to her. It didn't take long before I felt her body soften and her breathing get slower. The space we were in was small but I was afraid that she would wake up if I moved, so I held her while she slept. I had never held her before. She was a lot smaller than she looked. It was relaxing to the point that I fell asleep beside her. Her warmth was comforting.  
I woke up to the sound of Alicia mumbling in her sleep. I stayed still and listened to her. She was saying my name and I could see tears coming out of her eyes, but she was still sleeping. I pulled her in closer and wiped my sleeve across her face. She moved but didn't wake up, just snuggled in closer to me and draped her arm over me. We still had six hours to go and I wanted her to sleep, so I stayed laying beside her, caressing her temple with my thumb. What was she dreaming about? How long has she said my name in her sleep?

We had been in L.A. for two days and I could tell she felt awkward. She avoided me at all costs and made herself as scarce as possible while still doing everything she normally did. I know it was because of what happened when we woke up on the plane together.  
Two days earlier...  
I woke up before she did. She looked peaceful so I just laid there and didn't move. Watching her sleep was comforting. And listening to the way she talked in her sleep was cute. I could feel her shivering so I reached over and pulled the blanket over us. I still had no desire to move away from her. Before I knew what I was doing, I had kissed her forehead. When she didn't move or wake up, I kissed her again. Only this time, I kissed her lips. She stirred but didn't fully wake up. She surprised me when she kissed me back. I couldn't stop myself from reciprocating. Her hands were in my hair and she was pulling me down towards her. We were both breathless by the time we disconnected. When she opened her eyes, I could see the shock on her face as she sat up in a hurry.  
A: Oh my God! I'm sorry!   
T: Why?   
A: Because that wasn't supposed to happen! Tao, why didn't you stop me?!  
T: Because I obviously didn't want to. If I didn't want it to happen I would have stopped you. Why are you freaking out? That's the best kiss I've ever had.  
She was crying and had her hands covering her mouth with her sleeves. I couldn't stand to see her like that so I pulled her to me and hugged her.  
T: Hey. It's alright. I wanted it. I didn't know I did until it happened, but I still wanted it.  
Present...  
I watched her as she hurried around my hotel room gathering up all the dirty laundry and changing out the towels for the ones I liked that she brought with us. She would barely look at me, and when she spoke to me, she looked mostly at her hands or her feet.   
A: I'm going to go wash this stuff. If you need anything just call me.  
T: Are you going to look at me?  
A: When I'm ready, I will.  
She hurried out of the room before I could say anything else. I wanted to talk about it, but if she wouldn't even look at me, the only thing I could do was call her. I picked up my phone and hit the call button when I found her contact info.  
A: I just left your room. What could you possibly need this quickly?  
T: You.  
A: Stop being ridiculous.   
T: Then talk to me.  
A: What am I doing now?  
T: No. Sit in front of me and talk to me.  
A: I can't.  
T: Why not?  
A: Because I just can't. I'm embarrassed.  
T: It's not something to be embarrassed about, it's natural for things like that to happen. I'm a straight guy, you're a straight girl, and we got caught up in the moment. It was an amazing moment.  
A: You're not helping.  
T: You know you talk in your sleep? It's cute. You called out for me a lot.  
A: Yea, now you're really not helping and I have work to do.  
She hung up on me. I could hear her sighs as I said things to her she didn't want to hear. I just didn't know any other way to get her to talk about it. To be completely honest, the way she was acting, she wanted it too, she was just too afraid to say it. I hit the call button again and waited for her to answer.  
A: What?  
T: Do you have to answer like that?  
A: Sometimes, yes.  
T: Come up to my room. Please?  
A: I have stuff I need to get done. I can't  
T: Can't or won't?  
A: I don't know.  
T: Please?  
A: Fine.  
She hung up and about five minutes later, I could hear the card key open the door. She came around the corner with her arms crossed, trying hard to look everywhere but at me. I stood up and pulled her over to the bed where I sat her down next to me.  
T: Can we talk about it now?  
A: No.  
She was still trying hard not to look at me. So I sat directly in front of her and held her face between my hands until she was looking at me.  
T: Please?  
A: Alright.  
She sighed heavily and sat back on the pillows behind her.  
A: Talk before I change my mind.  
T: Why are you so embarrassed about a kiss?  
A: It was more than that and you know it. I was all into it and it probably would have gone farther if I wouldn't have come to my senses.  
T: And if it had? What's so bad about that?  
A: Everything! You're my boss!  
T: I'm also your friend.   
A: That doesn't make it any better. It was inappropriate.  
T: It was amazing. And I think we should try it again. With you completely awake this time.  
I was inching myself towards her and she was desperately trying not to notice. She was trying to move herself farther from me. She wasn't fast enough. My forehead was against hers and my arm was around her waist before she could get far enough away. I could hear her holding her breath.  
A: Tao, stop. We shouldn't do this.  
T: You want it as much as I do. Admit it.  
A: I do. But we really shouldn't. It isn't right.  
T: But it feels right.  
I covered her mouth with mine before she could say anything else. She tried to fight it, but gave up and gave in to the kiss. It was better than the first time. She tangled her fingers in my hair again and pulled me into her. We were both breathless but I couldn't stop. My mind was flooded with memories of all the smiles and the corny jokes she told that I had taken for granted. Everything she did so I wouldn't have to be stressed out. All the nights she didn't sleep because she had to take care of me and the situations I had gotten myself into. I couldn't stop thinking of how she would come and sit with me and help calm me down when I was nervous or stressed about something. In eight years, she hadn't failed me at all.   
I could feel tears coming to my eyes as the thoughts continued to cloud my mind and her arms wrapped tighter around my neck. Before I could stop it, I could feel them fall from my eyes. She must have noticed because she pulled away and wiped my face with her sleeve with a worried look on her face.   
A: What's wrong?  
T: Nothing.   
A: Something is wrong. You don't cry. Talk to me.  
She pulled me close to her and waited for me to talk.  
T: I just keep thinking about everything you do for me. You've never complained, you've always been there for me, I and just take it for granted.   
A: I knew you were a special case when we met. I had a strong feeling that you were going to need a lot of attention and work. But it's always been worth it.   
Her words opened my eyes to see her as one of the brightest lights I had ever seen. We laid there for awhile and she was holding me close to her. Like I had done when I made her go to sleep on the plane. She kept wiping my face with her sleeve as the tears continued to fall.   
A: Want me to stay for awhile?  
T: Stay the night.  
A: Ok  
There was no fight this time. She just agreed. And for awhile, she just laid there with me, telling me her corny jokes and smiling the way she always did. Every now and then she would let me kiss her without fighting it.   
A: We can't do this forever you know.  
T: I know. Just for today? We can figure out the details tomorrow. For now, I just need you here.  
Like always, she stayed with me. She was there when I asked her to be. But this time felt different. I knew that tomorrow would bring reality back, but for now, I wanted to stay in the moment that she was letting me have.

I rolled over to see the mess of brown hair laying on the pillow next to me. I felt a smile creep across my face as I pulled her to me and felt her stir against me.   
A: Mmmm What time is it?  
T: Who cares?  
A: I do. We have work today.  
T: I don't care. Let me hold you.  
She finally stopped moving and stayed still. I felt peaceful as her arms crept around my waist and her cheek rested against my chest.   
T: Thank you for staying.  
A: You asked me to.  
T: If that first kiss hadn't happened, would you have stayed before?  
A: Mmhmm.  
I could feel her breathing against my chest as she laid there, us tangled up together like we'd been together for years. I mean, technically we had been together, just in a different way. She was one of the best friends I had ever had, and she refused to leave my side even when we were in an awkward position.  
I brushed her hair out of her face and watched her with her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful. I hadn't seen her look like this before. The combination of the way she looked, and how she felt in my arms was making me think thoughts about her that I didn't have before. I let my hand slide up the back of her shirt as I laid small kisses on the side of her face.  
A: Mmm. Stop that.  
T: Why?  
A: Because it's nice.   
T: What's wrong with that?  
A: We have places to be today and I might not stop you.  
T: So don't stop me.  
I could feel her leg wrap around me as I continued with the kisses I was leaving on her face and neck. I still wasn't ready to let go of the moment she was letting me have. I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me and I was happy about it.   
A: I said, Stop.  
She pulled my face to hers and kissed me hard. I could barely breathe when she let me go and climbed over me to get out of bed.  
A: Get up.   
I laid there for a minute, breathless. I listened to her in the bathroom. I could hear bottles bumping around and zippers unzipping as she moved around getting ready. I looked over in time to see her come out in just a tshirt and her underwear. Suddenly my mind went blank and she was all I could see. Her hair fell over her shoulder and touched the floor as she squatted down to look through my suitcase. I sat up on my elbows and watched her rummaging.  
T: I've never seen your hair down.  
A: Yea ok. Where is that blue shirt you always wear on Saturdays?  
T: You packed the bags so I don't know. How about you just give up looking for it and come back over here?  
A: Shut up and get up please.   
She continued her rummaging so she didn't notice me get up and walk over to her. I put my arms around her waist and hugged her to me.  
T: Please?  
A: Please what?  
T: Please can we stay here and do nothing?  
A: No. Get ready.  
She stood up and walked back to the bathroom with the shirt in her hand. I followed her into the bathroom just in time to see her pull the clean shirt over her head and turn to start the shower for me.  
T: You don't want to get in with me?  
A: Your mind needs to get out of the gutter for a second and get ready to go. I will not have you being late.  
She stood there and watched as I pulled my pajamas off and got in the shower. My temptation tactics weren't what I thought they were. It was either that or she was just too used to me.  
A: I need a few things out of my room before we leave so I'll be right back.  
I could see her silhouette on the other side of the curtain as she walked out. I forgot that she hadn't brought her suitcase with her last night. She was wearing my clothes, which was kind of hot, and had to use the spare toothbrush she always brought for me. I knew she wouldn't have time to change so it was a plus that she would smell like me all day around all of the guys that would be at the studio. They wouldn't hit on her like they usually did.  
It suddenly dawned on me that every time she had been hit on, it made me jealous. But until today, I had just thought it was me being annoyed. Annoyed at something trivial like, how long it was taking for us to leave, or how long it was taking for her to bring me something. It made me realize that maybe I had felt something for her before these last couple of days. Maybe she really did mean more to me than I thought she did and I just didn't want to admit it.   
As I got out of the shower, I heard the door click shut behind her as she walked back in. She had combed her hair and left it down the way it was before, and she was wearing different shoes. She hadn't seen me come out of the bathroom and watch her from the doorway. She jumped when she heard me say her name.  
T: Alicia,  
A: Jeez Tao! What are you doing just standing there like a stalker?  
T: Stay with me.  
A: Oh no, not this again. Get dressed.  
T: No, I mean, stay with me. The whole time we're here. Get rid of your room and come stay with me.  
She stared at me for a minute before she answered.  
A: I just did that.   
T: Wait, what?  
A: I know you better than you know yourself.   
She turned around and started fiddling with something. I hurried over to her and turned her around so she was facing me when I pulled her into me.   
T: How long have you known me this well?  
A: A while why?  
I picked her up and carried her to the bed. I couldn't stop myself. I laid her down and let my towel fall. I kissed her for what seemed like the thousandth time today. But she didn't fight me, she gave in to me this time. Before I knew it, her own clothes were on the floor and I could feel her hands in my hair. She was moving with me as I took her back to our world. The world where only we existed. The world I had avoided until recently.  
I could feel her breathing getting heavy as we descended deeper into our own secret place. I could feel her nails digging into my back and she was whispering my name just like she did in her sleep which was sending me over the edge, But I wasn't ready to leave our place yet. I could feel the ecstasy that came with the air of our world. It was enough to drown a person. At this moment, she was the only person who existed to me. I wanted nothing more than to just disappear into our own private little heaven.   
I sat her up and pulled her into my lap. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she straddled me and started to roll her hips with mine. She was pacing herself so I knew she was feeling the same way I was. I could tell by the way she kissed me that she was in the same place I was. We were both in our own world, and it was a sacred place. This little bubble where my heart felt full, and my entire body was on fire. I had avoided this place and this feeling for so long. I never thought I would come to this place with her. Reality didn't exist here. My eyes were closed so I could savor the ecstatic feeling. I could feel her moving faster and it let me know she was getting close. I pulled her face to me and swallowed the sounds she was making with my kiss.  
We both reached our highs at the same time, and slowed together. It felt as if she was the only thing keeping me from floating away. I laid beside her and held her close to me as we caught our breath.   
A: You're a brat.  
T: How's that?  
A: You've been trying for this all morning.   
T: What made you give in this time?  
A: You wore my resistance down finally.  
I was running my fingers through her hair and just listening to her breathe. I could tell she was trying to keep herself from saying something so I pulled her chin up to face me.  
T: What's wrong?  
A: We're late. We need to go.  
T: I don't want to today. We went yesterday. Tell them I'm sick today.  
A: I can't do that. You have to go.  
T: Please?  
A: No. We need to get up and go.  
She let me kiss her one more time before she climbed out of my embrace and got up to put her clothes on. I sat up to watch her and that's when I saw it, the mess of scars on the back of her thigh. The looked like scratches, but deeper. I could tell they weren't new, but they weren't particularly old either.  
T: Alicia, what are those?  
A: Hmm? What are what?  
T: The scars on your thigh. What are those doing there?  
A: Oh. Those. They're nothing.  
She hurriedly pulled her pants on and pulled her shirt over her head before tossing my own clothes my way.  
A: Get dressed.   
T: Not until you tell me what happened.  
A: Tao, I don't want to talk about it.  
T: Well we are. So tell me what happened.  
A: It's nothing. Can we please get dressed? We need to go.  
T: Tell me first.  
A: I'll tell you after you finish the day. How about that?  
I stared at her for a second before I finally agreed. I wanted to know what they were and why they were there. It bothered me to see something that had caused her pain before. Is that the reason she would flinch when I hugged her?   
I stewed over it all day. I could barely focus on anything. Sitting in the booth in the studio, I could see her behind the control panel, watching like she always did. But this time, she was more mine than she ever had been before. And I felt like I needed to protect her from whatever or whoever had hurt her. It only confirmed how much more precious she was to me than I had realized before. I couldn't screw this one up. There was nothing more important to me than making sure I did this one right.  
When the end of the day finally arrived, I was happy to finally be on our way back to the hotel. I couldn't push her to the car fast enough.   
A: Tao, what the hell? Why are you in such a hurry?  
T: I just am. Let's go.  
A: Now you just sound like me.  
T: Well then I guess I've learned something haven't I.  
The car ride to the hotel seemed like it took forever. I watched her read through emails on her phone with that little smile that I had come to know over the years as her look of pure happiness. It was the look she got when she got what she wanted. I had always found it to be kind of adorable, now I found it intoxicating. I wanted nothing more than to always see her with that look on her face.  
As we got back to the room, she started arranging the clean laundry that had been left by housekeeping while we were gone. I took it from her and made her sit on the bed.  
T: The day is done. Tell me.  
She sighed heavily and looked down at her hands in her lap.  
A: You'll hate me.  
T: That isn't possible, now please tell me.  
A: They're what I do when I get feelings for someone. I figured if I do that, then I can tell myself that the pain would be the same when I get rejected anyway so I just get it done and over with.  
T: What the hell?!  
I was baffled by what she had just told me. I couldn't fathom that she would actually cause herself physical pain just because she liked someone. Then it dawned on me.  
T: Wait, who are those feelings for?  
A: You.  
She answered so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. She was staring at her hands again and I could hear her starting to cry. I had been so clueless for so long. And then I was mortified at the memories off all the times she'd had to get me out of one night stands and weird situations with women. I sat beside her and pulled her into my lap.  
T: Why didn't you ever say anything?  
A: Who the hell tells their best friend and boss that they have feelings for them? Seriously?  
T: You're human though. You should have said something. Then maybe I would have realized a long time ago that this is where we were going to end up.  
A: If I would have just blurted out, Oh yea hey Tao, I'm in love with you but I know you aren't with me, we cool?, then you would have laughed in my face and fired me.  
T: How do you know that?  
A: Seriously? I know you better then you know yourself sometimes.  
T: True, you do.  
I pulled her into me, but this time, it was just to hold her. Just to confirm her safety. I needed her to know that she was safe with me.  
T: Promise me you won't do that again?  
A: I can't promise anything. But I will try.  
I accepted what she said. She would need my help to keep her safe. I just didn't know I would have to protect her from herself. This was new to me but, I wanted it more than anything. I wanted it like I had never wanted anything before in my life. I would give up everything just to make sure I got to keep it. I made a mental promise to make sure nothing came before her ever again.


End file.
